I invoke the historic form of the tract, because I find myself in the middle of a long-standing American beauty contradiction, one that should have probably gone out of fashion with the corset (not the Vivienne Westwood one):
At the same time I am test-driving a new eyelash renewal serum called RapidLash to fill out my spotty lashes and brows, I’ve been slathering on Bliss’s Get Out of Hair!, a body lotion meant to minimize hair re-growth, as well as exfoliate and moisturize. See what I mean, dear reader?
Bliss says its main fuzz-fighter is Narcissus Tazetta bulb extract, which must be a two-faced ingredient, because it’s also an anti-ager in the Elizabeth Arden’s Intervene range. (Face-waxers, I’d definitely reach for this foundation.) And at $49.95, RapidLash happens to be a fraction of the price of similar products and contains a load of promising peptides—I’ll let you know in four weeks if it works.
But back to my didactic tract: the prevailing beauty mandate—be bare from the neck down, but have lush, cow-like lashes and a shiny full mane—doesn’t correspond a bit to biology, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. And so, with lasers, tweezers, and women named Eliza, we’ve created our own highly idealized female pattern baldness. And while it’s definitely easier to attain with 21st-century skin-care products and technologies, a modern lady can’t help but feel a bit caught in Penelope’s predicament, weaving a robe only to unravel it each night.

2 Comments
August 19, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Women, my dear writer, are not the only ones concerned with wrongly placed hairs. Take the problem of the single eybrow, cyclops-like. It grows completely from left to right without a pause. Most guys I know like to pluck the little buggers, but they are persistent.
And don’t forget those ear hairs. Once in India I saw a guy with hair tufts longer than my once sported beard. It was amazing. He looked like a cat. But for me, I have a terrible time ridding myself of those hairs. Only my hair stylist and a home clipper does the job…and then inadequately.
September 28, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I’m curious: did the Rapidlash work? I’ve been trying to grow out my eyebrows for months, and all I get are a few stragglers!
Thanks!