We’ve crossed the final spa frontier, Times’ reports

If “Sex in the City” were still on the air, we would have had some warning. Maybe an episode involving Samantha taking Charlotte to Kegel classes at the local pelvic fitness center. “But it’s embarrassing,” says Charlotte. “Shut up and clench,” replies Samantha, as she renews her unlimited monthly class card to Pelvic Pilates.

Instead, the debut later this month of Phit, a New York City spa run by gynecologist Lauri Romanzi, MD, comes as a bit of shock, dedicated as it is to “strengthening and grooming a woman’s genital area,” reports Natasha Singer, who covered the spa for the Times. Gee, and I’ve spent all this time and money on facials.

It’s a medical spa spin-off I should have seen coming, I guess. After all, next to breast augmentation and butt lifts, what’s left but toning vaginal walls and labiaplasty, surgically augmenting the shape or size of the labia, which is already on the rise.

Apparently most grievances and surgeries of this kind pertain to the minora. And that’s a word I’d use to describe the impact of spas attempting to monetize this terrain, with such alluring treatments as:

Peat Vaginal Tampons offered in Marienbad, a spa region of the Czech Republic. Billed as “localized thermal therapy,” the sulphur-iron peat is prescribed by a spa gynecologist for its “phytoestrogenic qualities” and is indicated for a variety of conditions, including female sterility, incontinence, and menopause.

And the Korean Gyno Spa Cure at Juvenex in New York City, a wooden throne set over a stew of steaming “detoxifying” herbs, has garnered more media attention (and inquiry into its anthropological veracity) than it has paying customers.

But maybe that’s enough?

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